For Romney to lose the Republican nomination would take an act of God. That's what his spin doctors said last week -- an act of God. Do they know something that you and I don't? Was God responsible for Mitt's victories in Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands? I'd better check the Bible and the Internet.
Google quickly found a website selling mugs, T-shirts, temporary tattoos, caps, mouse-pads and refrigerator magnets bearing that phrase -- an act of God. Strangely, they haven't yet added Romney's name to any of their products.
Rick immediately challenged Mitt, "If the governor thinks he's now ordained by God to win, then let's just have it out." A wrestling match to get God's blessing. Watch your hip, Mitt. That's how Jacob got his limp.
A word of caution, however. They'd better check Newt's publications to avoid a plagiarism suit. After all, he and Callista have written and produced several religious pieces including "Rediscovering God in America II: Our Heritage." His efforts at politics, marriage and religion suggest the subtitle, "If at first you don't succeed -- try, try again." Correction -- try, try, try again.
We know, of course, which party has God's endorsement. After all, GOD and GOP differ from one another by only a single letter and, if you trade crat for n, you can make a Demon of a Democrat! But wait! Not one of the Holy Trinity has an I.D. acceptable to right-wing poll watchers. Sorry but no drivers' license -- no vote.
Jesus said, "The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it ..."
Milt says, "The wind seems to be coming from Mitt, Newt and Rick." ... and, speaking of gas, have you seen the admission/confession by spokesmen for TransCanada, the company that wants to build the pipeline from Alberta's tar sands across America's heartland to Gulf Coast refineries? Keystone XL will simply shift oil from the Midwest to the Gulf Coast, where much of it can be exported to international buyers -- decreasing U.S. energy supply and increasing the cost of oil in the American Midwest. There goes Newt's $2.50 gasoline.
I'll end now on Breaking News. The Utah Legislature is voting on an abstinence only sex education law. That'll do it!
-- Milt Longbottom