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Rob Jenkins: Stupid things I have said, 2012 edition

As we bid farewell (and good riddance) to 2012, it's time once again for me to revisit some of the stupid things I've said in this space over the past calendar year.

Bear in mind that, given my word limit, this compendium of knuckleheaded pronouncements will hardly be exhaustive, although it may well be exhausting.

Last January, for instance, after another early playoff exit, I wrote that the Falcons are probably "doomed to be the B team, to the Saints' A team, for the foreseeable future."

Obviously I was unable to see very far into the future. This year, in the NFC South -- if not the entire NFL -- the Dirty Birds have definitely been the A Team, while the Saints have merely been a team.

In April, I penned these immortal words: "You should never do anything just because of a little pressure from your family." What a stupid thing to say.

First of all, anyone who has a family knows that there's no such thing as "a little pressure." That's like the nurse saying "you're going to feel a little prick" before jabbing a 3-inch needle into your backside.

Second, as the recent Holiday Season has so effectively reminded me, those of us who have families do practically everything because we feel pressure. That's kind of the definition of having a family.

Perhaps the stupidest thing I said all year appeared in July, when I attributed the song "Rockin' Robin" to Elvis Presley. Fortunately, that error was caught immediately by 473 alert readers, five government agencies, an attorney for the Bobby Day estate, and my mom.

In August, as I began to tire of the Olympics -- approximately 12 hours after the opening ceremony -- I wrote that the Games are "just something to watch when the Royals and the Blue Jays are not playing on ESPN 4."

Well, that was a silly thing to say. As far as I know, there's no such thing as ESPN 4. If there is, my cable package doesn't include it, which is probably why I never get to see either the Royals or the Blue Jays.

Finally, in September, while discussing public restroom etiquette, I stated that "there is nothing more embarrassing for a guy than accidentally walking into the ladies' room."

That's ridiculous. There are a lot of things more embarrassing for a guy that walking into the ladies' room by accident, such as walking into the ladies' room on purpose.

And how about those erectile dysfunction commercials that run while I'm watching The History Channel with my teenage sons? Note to TV execs: even in the Information Age, there's still such a thing as way too much.

I guess I've reached that point myself, in this column. I'll close by saying Happy New Year, and I trust you're looking forward to all the stupid things I'm sure to say in 2013!

Rob Jenkins is a local freelance writer and the author of "Family Man: The Art of Surviving Domestic Tranquility." Email him at rjenkinsgdp@yahoo.com, follow him on Twitter@rjenkinsgdp, and check out www.familymanthebook.com.