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Darrell Huckaby - 10/23/09

My name is Darrell Huckaby and I am an addict. I cannot stay away from Facebook.

Now I shared with you all a few weeks ago that I had become a user. Peer pressure. I succumbed. My friends at work were using so I felt that I had to as well. It was harmful fun at first. I would log on every once in a while, just to see what it was like. I was an observer at first. Then I began to make comments here and there. Finally I began boldly posting my own status.

It felt good. It gave me a rush. I was one of the Facebook crowd. I was cool.

But it wasn't long until I was spinning out of control. I was hooked. I began to log on first thing every morning, just to see what everyone was up to. I began to alter my own status every hour or so. At night I would sit with my computer on my lap, completely embroiled in the everyday lives of my growing list of friends.

I was addicted and remain addicted - with no help in sight.

And I told you all of that to tell you this.

As soon as the first cool breeze began to blow, around the first week in October, Fall Fever seemed to embrace a multitude of my friends - especially the ladies. They began posting all sorts of wild promises about the autumn goodies they intended to make.

One lady wanted to go out and buy a big bag of candy corn, just to have around the house. She said it reminded her of the Halloweens of her youth. Once that seed was planted in my mind it seemed to sprout wings and soar. All I could think of was those little orange-and-yellow triangles of corn syrup shaped like kernels of Indian maize. I finally gave in to temptation and made a candy run. I gained a pound-and-a-half in one weekend eating candy corn.

And then someone else posted a recipe for chocolate-oatmeal cookies. I had never had nor even heard of a chocolate oatmeal cookie - but I had heard of chocolate cookies and liked them and had heard of oatmeal cookies and liked them - as long as there were no raisons involved in their baking. It just stood to reason that I would enjoy a combination of those two delicacies.

I am not a big cookie maker, myself. I can fry fish and I can barbecue a whole hog - but I cannot make cookies. My lovely wife, Lisa, can bake cookies, but she has been on a quest, as of late, to make sure I don't put anything in my mouth that tastes good and thus offers the opportunity for me to gain weight, so I knew it would do me no good to present the recipe to her.

So I did what any other red-blooded American male would have done. I began to wheedle, beg and coerce my Facebook friend into baking a batch of her treats just for me. Call me shameless if you'd like. I call myself an opportunist.

On and on the postings continued. One seemed to begat another. One person spoke of Rice Krispies Treats, which is something I can make - so I was, once again, off to the store to buy marshmallows and Rice Krispies -and food coloring. When I make Rice Krispies Treats in October I do so in a round cake pan and color them orange. Then I use chocolate bits to make a Jack O'Lantern face. My kids used to love it. Now they could care less, but I still like making Rice Krispies Jack O'Lanterns - and like eating them even more.

Someone else mentioned pumpkin pie and someone else mentioned pumpkin squares, with mulled apple cider and someone else spoke of apple cake.

I had to have some of all of it. For a whole week I cajoled my wife into making first one autumn goody and then another. Caramel apples. Apple sauce. Sweet potato pie. I ate them all. Finally I was satiated - or so I thought.

But just when I thought it was safe to go back on Facebook again, Becky May posted that she was going to make popcorn balls.

Popcorn balls! My mama used to make popcorn balls at Halloween and it was big deal. We would go to the store and get a big bag of popcorn and a bottle of white Karo syrup. Then we would come home and pop several batched of the corn - there were no microwaves back then, of course. I don't remember the rest of the procedure but I know that I loved eating those popcorn balls, even if I did have to pick popcorn out of my teeth until Thanksgiving.

Becky May has promised to share. So far it has been an empty promise, but I am still holding out hope. But just in case, I picked up a jar of popcorn and a bottle of syrup.

And since I am hooked, I am just going to relax and enjoy my addiction. This will be my very first Christmas on Facebook. I can't wait to see what that's like!