Longbottom Letter - 03/15/09

Six men played the characters of the 3 Stooges over the years. Thus far, the loyal opposition offers us just five. So, in no particular order, let me introduce the new stooges.

Rush Limbaugh: pound for pound, the Democrats' and Republicans' biggest problem.

Sarah Palin: GOP visionary who sees Russia from her front porch.

Bobby Jindal: Oh God!

Michael Steele: Poet Laureate of the Republicans gives Louisiana Gov. Jindal some "slum love" and offers a shout-out to "one-armed midgets." Some of his other statements make a bit more sense. "I am putting the party on a 12-step program of recovery." Step No. 1: "We admit we are powerless - that our lives have become unmanageable."

Minnesota Rep. Michelle Bachmann: the CPAC moderator - shouting from stage right, "Michael Steele! You be da man! You be da man." A word of caution to her speech-writer - Don't ever let a Minnesotan try to talk black.

If you've tired of slapstick, let's try horror. Newt Gingrich is considering running for president in 2012. Said Newt, using the royal pronoun, "If we think it's necessary, we'll probably do it." To which millions of Americans replied, "Oh God!"

The buzzword a week ago was "socialism." It has now been escalated by a contributor to your Perspective page to "communism." Examples of these evils seem to be Social Security, Medicare, WW2's GI Bill, unemployment insurance, a minimum wage law and other benefits too numerous to mention.

John McCain said, "But the point is that, of course, when a - when a - that's the reason why we have governments, to help those who need help, who can't help themselves, and when time of crisis to step in and do what's necessary to preserve the lives and futures of innocent people."

Was America a better place when its leader declared, "When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal." If so, our anti-communist brothers can take heart in seven newly released memos from the Bush Justice Department which argue for a president with power to override the Constitution. The memos provide "legal" rationales for the president to suspend freedom of speech and press; order warrantless searches and seizures, including wiretaps of U.S. citizens; lock up U.S. citizens indefinitely in the United States without criminal charges; send suspected terrorists to other countries where they will likely be tortured; and unilaterally abrogate treaties. According to the reasoning in the memos, Congress has no role to check and balance the executive. By the way, it took until Jan. 15 for the Bush administration to issue a disavowal of these memos.

In conclusion, the national media is doing just fine as is our Rockdale Citizen. People who read will be kept truthfully informed. They will understand that an oligarchy with a dictatorial president as its head and Congress as his servile minions was defeated in the last election.

Milt Longbottom